Lessons From Across The Pond

America changes a man. It puts about a stone in weight on him for one thing - I'm now 9 1/2 stone FYI. It also teaches lessons in life which are never to be forgotten.

Lesson Number 1:
Americans are mainly not American. They're either Mexican or Chinese, with a few variations on those two themes thrown in. Sure, the majority have stayed long enough to get citizenship or at least a work permit but it's still bizarre to hear only about 1/3 of the population speaking English.

Lesson Number 2: (Or numero dos for our hispanic bretheren)
Americans will not listen to anybody if they are being told something which they don't like. Observe the following two case studies:

1. Queueing up to buy tickets for the ferry to Liberty Island and to Ellis Island, there were large signs informing us, the general public, that there were no more tickets available for the tour of Lady Liberty's crown. Saddened by this, we kept calm and carried on, after all - there was nothing we could do and we could still go and see the statue and observe its glory from the outside. Three or four places in the queue ahead of us, a lady had finally arrived at the cashier's desk. Blatantly ignoring the A4 piece of paper three inches from her face with clear black 40pt font which vainly attempted to save her breath by telling her that the crown tours were sold out. "Is it true that there are no more tickets to the top of the crown today?" she asked.
No darling, the signs were just for decoration and for a little bit of fun. In fact, the one next to your face doesn't exist.

2. The same day, mere minutes after the first case study, we were in the queue for the ferry. It was a long queue - there were baggage checks just like at the airport. Scanners, beeps, police, guns and everything. At the start of the queue, there was a big sign showing us what we couldn't take to the island. The usual suspects were displayed: guns, knives, swords, bombs, small kittens in milk bottles, that sort of thing. Also on the list were "large cases or bags". I suppose that makes sense - reduce the bomb risk by reducing the size of the objects people can carry near the statue. One couple strolled briskly up to the queue, again ignoring this sign. The security guard next to us (we were near the end - the queue looped round itself) - a big black guy - shouted to them and they stopped. He then proceeded to tell them that they couldn't take the case on the ferry. They glared at him like he was crazy and began power walking to join the queue regardless.
The security guard got them back though - just as his colleague was going to fetch the offending couple, he told him "Nah, leave them dude - they'll find out when they get to the end of the queue" (that would take about half an hour) "I told them but they didn't listen. Screw them."
I smiled.

Lesson 3:
Shop attendants actually care about you and make an effort to show it. No matter where we were, upon entrance to any shop we would be greeted with a smile and an inquiry as to how we were. Even in such high establishments as Tiffany's we were smiled at, greeted and talked to. It was pretty obvious that we couldn't even afford to lick the carpet in the place yet we were still treated like potential customers with a billion dollar fortune to squander. It made a nice difference from the UK where the general attitude (though by no means the attitude of all) shop attendants is that they can't be bothered to work for such little pay and they feel as if they might as well just sulk at the world because of it. Or they're just so dead and hungover it puts quite a damper on any high spirits their clients may possess.



I'm sure I learnt more but it's all flown from my brain.

P.S.V
This guy is amazing for improvised comedy videos. In this one he makes up a lie about some celebrity knowing him. Awkward hilarity ensues.

The Not So Un-Talented Mr Radcliffe

I, like the rest of you I suppose, detest Daniel Radcliffe's appearances as Harry Potter. It's not the films themselves, they are usually quite enjoyable and I'm looking forward to the end of the epic struggle of good vs evil. Though sometimes I do sicken myself with my cheesiness. It has been an utter pleasure to watch Rupert Grint as Ron, Tom Felton as Draco and (maybe more importantly for us guys) Emma Watson as Hermione grow and mature as actors; becoming able to deliver convincing performances that manage to stir the emotions - I'm sure the next two films will be where they really come into their own.

Daniel Radcliffe's Harry however, is different. And not in a good way. It is excruciatingly painful to witness his impossibly socially awkward advances with his fellow classmates and his teachers. He occasionally seems to get the hang of being an idiot but that appears to be all he can fit in his skull. At least, that is the popular opinion of the chap.

All this has been niggling away at me though. It has failed to escape my attention that he is internationally renowned, not just for his appearances in the Harry Potter films but in big West End plays such as Equus, films such as December Boys and a few other minor pieces on the side. If he was half as bad as we all think he is, why on earth would people hire the guy?

After pondering this for a while, I have concluded that his performance of Harry Potter which we find oh so painful is intentional. After all, just how slick can a 17 year old guy with huge round framed glasses be? I discovered that rounded frames were not the way forward in year 6 when a rather unkind boy in my year, Timothy Wood, told me in no uncertain terms that I had (and I quote) "the most unfashionable glasses ever". It was alright for him, his daddy was a judge, owned an Alpha Romeo and he had a huge house - the spoilt little brat. I digress.

If Daniel Radcliffe chose earlier on in the (for want of a better word) saga to play Harry as an awkward bozo, he can't very well change his mind can he? After all, although Harry may change throughout the span of his life at Hogwarts, his personality never takes a huge U turn in the middle does it?

After watching The Half Blood Prince for the second time, I found that I enjoyed not only the film itself a lot more, but also Daniel Radcliffe's performance. Well, most of it. Some of it I admit was a little too crap and gawky. Yet I think that Rupert Grint and Emma Watson have roles that allow them to develop as actors far more than Daniel Radcliffe. Is this his fault for choosing to play Harry as a n00b? Most probably yes. However, I am far less inclined to slate all of his performance as Harry now that I've thought about it a bit. Ok, I may not like the Harry he plays, he may not be anything like I imagined him to be like when I read the books BUT I think that he gives a convincing performance in the style that he has chosen. Idiot style.

What about you? Do you detest the bugger? (He is a bit of a git in real life from what I've heard) Do you like him as Harry? What do you think he is going to do with his career after Harry Potter?
Crackpot theories and baseless speculation is welcomed (and encouraged) below.

P.S.V

I'm A Jesus-Man In New York

In England we have the occasional street preacher and mostly they're pretty wacky. Don't get me wrong, I know some great street preachers out there but let's be honest, they're not the majority by any stretch of the imagination.

Usually with street preachers all you hear is "You're going to Hell! You're a sinner! God hates sin! Look at my nicely knitted jumper from the 80s! I have impossibly huge glasses and a beard! ohandbythewayjesuslovesyouandyoudon'tneedtoworryifyoutrustinhimbecauseofhisamazinggraceandforgiveness.
They generally just major on the bad news and forget the good or just write off all the good all together. Or just preach about a Jesus they've just made up.

So on our first day we were a little surprised to be given a chocolate bar and an invite to a church (more on that one later) and then, two minutes down the line, to hear a street preacher going for it in the middle of Manhattan - that must take some guts. We stopped to listen to whatever heresy he was cooking up but we were instead greatly surprised (or at least I know I was) to hear that the man with the scary beard was really sound. In fact, we stood there listening to him for ages it was that encouraging. We went for a walk along 42nd street and got a good encouraging gospel message all about grace. What more could you ask for?

The next experience was when we were walking to China Town and heard some really loud music. Naturally we went to investigate and found that a group of about 10 churches from across the state had come together to have a gospel and worship music service in the square. It was FANTASTIC! Never have I been so encouraged on a weekday in the middle of a city walking along the street. One of the girls who stood up at the front spoke about all Christians being the body of Christ and I really felt that I had a greater understanding of that being one of only two Englishmen in a crowd of a hundred or so New Yorkers all praising the same God and preaching the same gospel as us.

As for the Sunday, we didn't get to see Tim Keller's church but instead we went along to the church of the guy who gave us the invite on our first day. Now, not only was this church getting out onto the streets of New York to evangelise, not only was it extremely sound and contemporary (check it out at www.journeymetro.com ), not only were they starting a series on a topic both Luke and I were thinking about, and not only does it have a branch out in San Francisco which we will be dropping into when we get there but it was also named after one of my favourite bands - Journey. I almost died.

How's that for encouraging? Not the me dying bit, the rest of the blog.

P.S.V

Not only does America churn out good preachers - it gave us this guy

The Crazies Are Coming.

New York is full of crazies. Every day, we will see somebody do something a little odd. Or a lot odd.
Here are some of the people we've run into so far:

Exhibit A: Pot Girl
We got on a bus home and near the end of the journey, a girl staggered on giggling herself senseless. She came up to us and said "I've smoked soooo much weed, I feel like I'm on an airplane" She then proceeded to go round each of the seven other passengers on the bus enquiring as to whether they smoked weed. The funniest part was when she shouted said question to an old man at the front of the bus, when he failed to reply she repeated it louder. Failing to illicit a response, she came out with the brilliant phrase "Yeah he smokes weed".
Getting off the bus, she tried to sell us some weed and give us her number. We declined.

Exhibit B: Rat Man
There is a man who walks round New York city with a rat on his head. 'Nuff said.

Exhibit C: Creepy Puppet Music Man
In the Subway there was an old man busking. This wasn't just any busking though, this was creepy paedo puppet busking with a no-tooth smile and a hunchback.

This city is fun.

P.S.V.
Ignore the last half of the video as she's talking to her subscribers :)